hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
