I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
