You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
