uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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