Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
