its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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