Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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