...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
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Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
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Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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