If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
