He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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