He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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