whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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