the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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