This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
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do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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