They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize