Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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