so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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