she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
