Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
