I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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