He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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