You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize