once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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