There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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