I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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