if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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