If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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