never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
