The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
