dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
