I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Please, let me fuck your mom
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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