You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
