The maid of honor just puked.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just found puke in my bra..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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