sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
