remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
