How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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