hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
