Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
