She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize