i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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