So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
