she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
