ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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