I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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