We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
