double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
