it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
