i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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