Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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