So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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