i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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