I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
