when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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