There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
