You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
