Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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