That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
