You can't special order awesome
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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