i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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