I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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