Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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