i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
