I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
