yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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