I want to stick my p in your. b.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
