For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
