dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize