Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She announced her abortion via fbk
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
