i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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