Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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